Every year we go through ups and downs in life. Actually forget every year, every week or DAY we go through ups and downs! I find myself wondering, when is everything going to just come together in this magical moment where I feel totally complete and settled? The reality is it never will, because life is a freaking never-ending roller coaster.
Now that doesn’t have to end up being a negative thing! After reflecting over the good and bad parts of 2015 I realized I can change the way I look at the “bad” and turn them into growing experiences. Phrasing it like that doesn’t sound so awful, right? This kind of thinking can turn your bad moments into good in the end, and in the end your good moments will become nothing short of totally awesome.
I’d love to share with you 2 specific hard times of mine in 2015 that I turned around into good… because life is just too short to carry around negative energy 🙂
#1- Letting Go of Colorado
I previously shared this experience with you on the blog, but if you need some catching up I was planning on moving to Denver, CO when my lease ended in April 2015. After taking another trip to Colorado in January I was ready to start a new phase of my life full of gorgeous mountains, learning how to snowboard, and enjoying a young, eclectic city. Right around that same time we were going through some changes at my job. I was presented an amazing opportunity when, with the hiring of additional part-time employees, I began managing a design, marketing and social team to build our company brand. At this point I was already so focused on Denver, picking out options for downtown apartments, totally envisioning myself living the CO life, and I didn’t want to give that up.
After a seriously honest conversation with my boss, I came home and cried my little eyes out over a bottle of wine (which for me means it’s a big deal, I don’t cry easily!). I had this pit in my stomach and knew deep down I needed to stay, but letting go of that dream and everything I had envisioned for my immediate future was truly challenging. In a way, I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing a goal I had been talking about for months. As I would eventually come to realize, ended up accomplishing a completely different goal instead.
Reflecting on the situation I can 100% say I am happy with my decision. That “bad moment” of 2015 ended up a turning point of my career. In a matter of 9 months I grew more professionally than I ever expected. I gained confidence in my eye for design and visual aesthetics, learned how to manage a creative team, completely elevated the look of our brand such as product packaging, the website and styled photography. Overall I grew into a whole new level in my career. Instead of focusing on the immediate gratification of moving, I invested my time over the past year into something that will carry me forward in so many positive ways in my future. After all, while the opportunity of moving never really goes away, some career moves only come around once.
#2- Yep, I’m Still Single
At this point I’ve been single for about a year and a half. For some that may seem like nothing, for others that may seem like forever. For me, it’s like this awkward in between feeling. The “bad” part about this is obvious- not having that companion in life to be with you through those ups and downs… someone to celebrate your highs, comfort you in your lows. Obviously you have your family and friends but it’s not quite the same. Being in a relationship means you have someone with whom to share cooking nightly dinners, cozying up on the couch, taking vacations, and spending holidays together.
I think one of the worst parts of being single for a while has been having people say things like, “you’re not dating ANYONE?” or “it’s okay, you’ll find someone soon” or “better hurry, all the good ones are getting taken!” or “shouldn’t you start thinking about marriage soon, you’re not that young anymore”. I’m not even joking, the last one totally happens. Usually these comments come from people a generation older than me, I think it’s a different mindset and timetable these days. The one I had to laugh at the most was “you know, your child bearing years are coming up, maybe you should be taking finding a man more seriously”. WHAT?! I’m 27, give me a little break here. It’s easy to let comments like that get to you and make you feel self conscious, especially when everyone around you, including your ex, is pairing off.
I prefer to turn this “bad” situation into a GREAT one (cue Beyonce’s Single Ladies right here). Being single this year has allowed me to focus more time and energy on my own dreams without having to adjust them for someone else’s. Not just the actual time spent working on things like this blog and other projects, but the mental time to reflect on myself and what I really want out of life. I’ve also learned through casual dating what I like and don’t like in someone… a very important thing to know when choosing your life partner! I know the time will come when I’ll no longer be a single lady. But in the meantime, I’ll be enjoying this precious alone time to further develop my own talents and values, while keeping an eye out for that 1 special guy who gives me butterflies, believes in me, challenges me to be better, shares my taste for adventure, and keeps me on my toes in a good way.
And for my fellow single girls out there who need a little pick-me-up… pour yourself a glass of wine, blast this song, and have a little solo dance party. Kind of cheesy?? Yes, for sure. But you can’t deny it helps turn that bad moment into a totally awesome one.