Shutting Out the Noise and Trusting Your Gut

Anytime you make a big life decision you are bound to encounter the “gray area”. Not all decisions are black and white, and usually you will have to take the leap in one direction knowing there are pros and cons to both sides. You wonder if you’re making the right choice- what if it doesn’t turn out how you thought? What will others think? Will you have regrets? There is constantly so much noise happening inside our heads about decisions we make and which way we should take our lives. How do you turn down the noise and know what’s ultimately right for you? I dealt with this noise a lot when making the decision to move with my boyfriend across the world to Australia. I am so happy to say I am past the confusion and into the “all-in, never looking back, don’t give a damn what you think phase”. I must say, it’s the best place to be. So what was my noise all about with this decision? Where do I start…

NOISE #1- Where is this relationship going?

Stephen and I had to start having more discussions about how we saw our future, our expectations, timelines and what we want for ourselves. It is so important to know what you want for YOU before completely compromising everything for someone else. We both come from divorced families so a happy ending is a goal we take very seriously (not THAT kind of happy ending you perv). I already knew our relationship was wonderful and he makes me smile and laugh on a daily basis, but we couldn’t be naive to deeper topics. I won’t go into every little personal detail, but before I was able to consider this move we had to check our boxes and know our foundation and goals were solid.

NOISE #2- Wow that’s like, really far away and a really long flight.

This was pretty much the reaction from 75% of people when I began talking about moving. I understand it’s a normal and valid reaction! But oftentimes people react to the idea of something by thinking about themselves first- not you. They start to think “how would I feel doing that, would I ever choose to do such a thing”. I had to remind myself that we are all different- we have different interests, goals, priorities, and ultimately a different idea of what life should be. Don’t get stuck on the opinions of others without remembering that what works or doesn’t work for them won’t be the same for you, and that’s okay. Many of my friends or family members would never consider moving so far- but that doesn’t mean I can’t.

Other people’s opinions are not your own. The worst thing you could do is to make an important life decision based on the consensus of those around you, only to look back later and never have followed your heart.

For me, this whole distance thing is all about perspective. Okay I know it is a long flight from Atlanta to Australia – so I’ll figure out a flying routine to make it easier and deal with it on that one day instead of making that small fact my focus. Also those flights can be pretty pricey too. Well that’s just more motivation to keep building my business and increasing my revenue. **cough** business expense to come see clients **cough **. Thank you tax write offs! Stephen has always told me “you can be anywhere in the world within a day”, and he’s right. Why would I let one day stop me from experiencing the other side of the world and being with someone who has become such an important part of my life? I asked Stephen recently if he was nervous- it could get complicated in the future with our families being on opposite sides of the world. He said it’s not scary- it’s exciting! It’s all about perspective and that is just one of the things I love about him. It’s so refreshing to be with someone with an open mind to possibilities without limits.

NOISE #3- You’re moving that far without a ring on your finger?

Wouldn’t it just be such a lovely little story to share on facebook- we get engaged and then run off to Australia together. Well life is not about fairy tale endings or a facebook reveal (even though they’re fun sometimes). This topic was one where I felt the most pressure from others, and one I had to really sift through the noise to find out how I really felt. I felt that I SHOULD be saying I couldn’t make that big of a move without that commitment and it would look bad if I didn’t. Stephen and I had very open talks about this and neither of us believe in taking that leap just because of a situation if we weren’t ready. He felt it was really important I go and experience what I would be committing to first… I just felt confused.

For a while I couldn’t quiet the noise in my head. I knew how a lot of people would react, and I knew I would have to defend my reasoning if I chose to go. Then I realized- why should I ever have to defend this serious of a decision to anyone? Marriage is a huge decision- its bigger than Australia, its bigger than the judgement from others. I also started to realize a lot of the people who did really feel I should be engaged first haven’t first-hand experienced divorce in their life. I would never wish that on anyone, and especially wouldn’t want that for my future (WAY future) children. When you’ve dealt with divorce it can leave you extra cautious and slightly jaded. Friends of mine who have experienced divorce first-hand were all on board with me making sure this is what I really want for myself first. Once I let go of that external pressure and noise from others a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Go for it. Make moves and take risks. You have to at least try.

I think I knew immediately deep down I would end up moving with Stephen when he told me he had to move back, but I still remember the moment I officially let myself say YES, I am 100% in. Most days Stephen and I chat on the phone on our way home from work. That particular day while we were talking I remember saying “I have to at least try, how could I not even try?”. From that moment on the noise was gone and I was all in. This reaction can apply to so many decisions in our lives. Earning a degree, finding a more fulfilling job, going for that promotion, starting to date again, telling someone how you feel, traveling more, turning your dreams into reality… you have to at least try.

You know how the saying goes- with great risk comes great reward. My great reward just happens to come with kangaroos and a sexy surfer.

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The Details on My Move to Australia

Since this is the first time I’m announcing it on the blog… I am moving to Australia!! This week my visa was approved so the fact that it is official-official is still crazy to me. All that is left now is to book my one-way plane ticket!

Some people might be wondering, why Australia? If I haven’t been been able to catch up with you this past year and a half the first thing to know is my boyfriend is Australian. He is on an expatriate program with his job for 2 years in America and we met last January after he’d been living in Atlanta for about 6 months. And yes… he has an accent. People always ask me this but to be honest I stopped noticing it after a few months- it just becomes normal! It has been fun to get used to some Aussie slang- something that will come in handy in a few months.

Since we  started dating I’ve known moving to Australia at some point would be a possibility for me if our relationship continued to move forward, but it’s almost surreal now that it’s actually happening. We found out in February they needed him back there in a few months for work and after some conversations and soul searching I knew I had to go too. I definitely will be expanding on this whole decision making process in the next blog post because I went through an emotional journey to get to where I am now. I think some of you will find it relatable and helpful if you’ve been faced with your own tough life choices. For me it was a decision that was both difficult and so easy all at once. I had to shut out the world noise and trust MY judgement- not everyone else’s. More on this coming soon 🙂

Anyways, back to the official moving plans! Stephen will head home in June and I plan to make the big move sometime in August. Our location is determined by where he was placed for work so we will be about an hour south of the Gold Coast, about two hours south of Brisbane near Lennox Head and Ballina in NSW. We will have to wait until Stephen gets out there in June and starts house hunting to know exactly where we will end up in that area, another exciting process to share later!

The country is extremely beautiful in this area- I remember being mesmerized by the lush landscape and beautiful beaches when we were there last September. I have been a beach bum at heart my entire life, I’m sure it’s due to my southern California roots. Those who know me know I have been on a mission to move to the beach for FOREVER, but over the years there have been different factors that stopped this from happening. Looking back I can’t tell you how thankful I am that I never picked up and moved back to California, or over to Florida or Charleston. If I hadn’t trusted my gut to be patient and stay put in Atlanta just a little bit longer I would never have met Stephen and most likely wouldn’t be about to move to one of the most beautiful parts of the world. Not only am I excited about living in Australia, but the traveling we will be able to do in that side of the world is a huge bonus in my mind. New Zealand, Japan and Indonesia are just a few on my list 😉

Are we going to live in Australia forever? I have no idea. This was another big factor in my decision to move in the first place- I needed to know that if later down the road I wanted to move back to the U.S. Stephen would be open to that. Thankfully he is 🙂 but for now I am only focusing on this next step and am allowing myself to be open to whatever comes next over the upcoming years. I think when you try to plan too much ahead you end up being closed off and ignore potential amazing opportunities that come your way. You end up feeling like you’ve let yourself and others down if you change your mind. Well, I want to be able to change my mind, go with the flow and allow the universe to take me where I am meant to go. To be honest the idea of a “forever home” kind of freaks me out- I am a big dreamer and don’t like to put limits on myself and future possibilities. Luckily I found someone who feels the same.

I can’t believe I only have four months to go before the big move!! I know it is going to fly by and I’ll need to get in as much family and friends time as I can. I will 100% be coming back to Atlanta regularly, I am pretty sure my family would kill me if I didn’t come back minimum once a year.

This won’t be a “goodbye” to everyone, but more of a “catch ya later mate”!

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